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Been a while…

     Definitely been a while since I’ve been here.  I’m sorry about any problems my last post might have caused, even though it was a long time ago.  One thing I’ve definitely figured out is that it’s not Holli I need.  That was definitely me trying to hold onto the past, which I need to stop doing.  The past is gone, no matter how much I may want it to still be here.

     I’ve been on eharmony, trying to find someone, but no luck so far.  I have made a good friend, but no luck as far as a partner is concerned so far.  I’ve started talking to one girl, Jessica, which seems promising, but still way to early to tell.  We had a conversation about how we’re both wanting to take it slow.  We’ll see how it goes.

     Feels good writing again.  Hopefully I’ll have more to write about next time.

What’s wrong with me?

     I took this blog down earlier because of my soon to be ex wives family’s rejections but, I’ve decided if they don’t like what I have to say, they don’t have to read it.  I have added an addendum to the end, so proceed at your own caution.  Also, if you leave me any nasy comments, I’m not posting them, so here you go.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the one girl I can’t get out of my head. Despite having two major epiphanies that I had thought meant I was finally moving on. Seems that’s not the case.

No matter what I try to do to get her out of my head, I still think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and, I would be so happy if I could have her again. No, I’m not talking about my soon to be ex wife. I’m talking about my one true love. The only girl I’ve ever really loved. Besides my mom of course.

I so miss falling asleep with her and holding her. If only I realized what I had at the time. Unfortunately, I learned from her what Sting was talking about when he said “If you love someone, set them free.” Unfortunately, I held onto her so tight for so long that she ended up getting away from me. If only I had learned that before I met her. I keep thinking how different things would be if I had another chance with her. I would be so much different and, not do all the things that drove her away from me last time.

I would like to share a song that she told me hearing me sing it was the first time she thought she wanted to be with me. The song is called Fred Jones Part 2.

Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark There’s an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall He’s cleared all his things and he’s put them in boxes Things that remind him: ‘Life has been good’ Twenty-five years He’s worked at the paper A man’s here to take him downstairs And I’m sorry, Mr. Jones It’s time

     I’ve been thinking since I wrote this earlier  today and, I don’t think Holli is what I need.  When I was with Nonnie and, happy to be with her, I never gave Holli a second thought.  So, I’ve been thinking Holli is not what I need.  What I need is a woman who makes me forget about everything else.  So, I might need Holli, or maybe someone else.  The reason I have this blog is to write down what I’m thinking and see if it makes sense.

What’s wrong with me? If anything?

Honeymoon

     I thought it was about time I finally wrote about the honeymoon in NOLA (New Orleans, Loisianna).  You see NOLA everywhere in that city.  I really go to like that nickname.

     We got off to a rough start thanks to the airline.  We we supposed to take off at 9:30, have a two hour layover in Houston, and arrive in NOLA at about 3:30.  Everything was fine until we got to Houston.  The airline never said there was a delay, but the expected arrival time of our plane kept getting pushed back 14 minutes at a time.  Finally people started to ask what was going on, and we got a number of different reasons the plane was late.  First we hear the plane arrived from Mexico and had to go through customs.  When an hour had gone by and we still saw no plane, the crew had worked the maximum number of consecutive hours the FAA allows and had to have an 8 hour break.  Fortunately that answer wasn’t true.  They never made any announcement.  They only answered questions when they were asked but always gave different answers.  So, it ended up being a 5 hour delay and we did not arrive in NOLA until 8:30.  Oy.

     We decided when we got there just to order food to our hotel and go to sleep.  The food was far better than any delivery food you can get in Cincinnati.  We did notice when we got to the French Quarter where our hotel was that the whole area smelled like food.  Every block brought the smell of a different food.  It was definitely the best smelling city I’ve ever been to.

     The next day we walked around a little bit and noticed there were many different tours and types of tours that were offered.  We registered for one and decided to go to the WWII musuem they had there while we waited.  There was a small museun, but it wa mostly an hour long movie that covered the war from Pearl Harbor to the second A bomb getting dropped in Japan.  It made a little more sense why they did it because the people in Japan had the attitude of fight or die trying.  Reminded you of the terrorists of today who are more than happy to die fighting.

     The tour bus picked us up at our hotel.  There were plantation tour, swamp tours, and cemetary tours you could go on.  This one was a little bit of all of them put into one.  We learned about how the people there consider it 2 cities in one.  The French Quarter and the “American part” of the city.  We definitely learned staying in the French Quarter you completely forgot there was a whole city around it.  Staying in the French Quarter, you begin to think that is the whole city.  Then we learned about Canal Street.  Back in the late 1700’s or early 1800’s the city paid a man to build a canal.  He was a con man and ran off with the money and the canal never got built.

     My favorite part of the trip was on our last day before we left and I got to play chess with a professional chess player.  He charged $5 a game.  A man came up to me and offered to pay for me to play.  He had apparently played the guy and lost in three moves.  I am glad to say I definitely lasted longer than three moves.  The gu ended up paying for me to play a second game because he was excited how long I lasted.  The pro even ended up showing me how he beat me the first time.  I ended up using his straegy against him the second time just to see the defense he used.  There is a picture of me playing him on facebook.

     Overall, the trip to NOLA was great.  We got to eat great food, great deserts, and great drinks.  I love you Nonnie, and I’m very glad that’s where we decided to go.  On the way home though we hit another dalay in Houston.  We were supposed tob e home at 5:30 and we didn’t land until 9:30.  Only 4 hours instead of 5.  And again, we were never given an announcement, but the expected arrival time just kept getting pushed back 14 minutes at a time.  Continental airlines, we will never fly you again.  Fortunately, the good trip overshadowed  the terrible flights.  Of course, spending time with Nonnie there helped a lot too.  🙂

Honeymoon

     I thought it was about time I finally wrote about the honeymoon in NOLA (New Orleans, Loisianna).  You see NOLA everywhere in that city.  I really go to like that nickname.

     We got off to a rough start thanks to the airline.  We we supposed to take off at 9:30, have a two hour layover in Houston, and arrive in NOLA at about 3:30.  Everything was fine until we got to Houston.  The airline never said there was a delay, but the expected arrival time of our plane kept getting pushed back 14 minutes at a time.  Finally people started to ask what was going on, and we got a number of different reasons the plane was late.  First we hear the plane arrived from Mexico and had to go through customs.  When an hour had gone by and we still saw no plane, the crew had worked the maximum number of consecutive hours the FAA allows and had to have an 8 hour break.  Fortunately that answer wasn’t true.  They never made any announcement.  They only answered questions when they were asked but always gave different answers.  So, it ended up being a 5 hour delay and we did not arrive in NOLA until 8:30.  Oy.

     We decided when we got there just to order food to our hotel and go to sleep.  The food was far better than any delivery food you can get in Cincinnati.  We did notice when we got to the French Quarter where our hotel was that the whole area smelled like food.  Every block brought the smell of a different food.  It was definitely the best smelling city I’ve ever been to.

     The next day we walked around a little bit and noticed there were many different tours and types of tours that were offered.  We registered for one and decided to go to the WWII musuem they had there while we waited.  There was a small museun, but it wa mostly an hour long movie that covered the war from Pearl Harbor to the second A bomb getting dropped in Japan.  It made a little more sense why they did it because the people in Japan had the attitude of fight or die trying.  Reminded you of the terrorists of today who are more than happy to die fighting.

     The tour bus picked us up at our hotel.  There were plantation tour, swamp tours, and cemetary tours you could go on.  This one was a little bit of all of them put into one.  We learned about how the people there consider it 2 cities in one.  The French Quarter and the “American part” of the city.  We definitely learned staying in the French Quarter you completely forgot there was a whole city around it.  Staying in the French Quarter, you begin to think that is the whole city.  Then we learned about Canal Street.  Back in the late 1700’s or early 1800’s the city paid a man to build a canal.  He was a con man and ran off with the money and the canal never got built.

     My favorite part of the trip was on our last day before we left and I got to play chess with a professional chess player.  He charged $5 a game.  A man came up to me and offered to pay for me to play.  He had apparently played the guy and lost in three moves.  I am glad to say I definitely lasted longer than three moves.  The gu ended up paying for me to play a second game because he was excited how long I lasted.  The pro even ended up showing me how he beat me the first time.  I ended up using his straegy against him the second time just to see the defense he used.  There is a picture of me playing him on facebook.

     Overall, the trip to NOLA was great.  We got to eat great food, great deserts, and great drinks.  I love you Nonnie, and I’m very glad that’s where we decided to go.  On the way home though we hit another dalay in Houston.  We were supposed tob e home at 5:30 and we didn’t land until 9:30.  Only 4 hours instead of 5.  And again, we were never given an announcement, but the expected arrival time just kept getting pushed back 14 minutes at a time.  Continental airlines, we will never fly you again.  Fortunately, the good trip overshadowed  the terrible flights.  Of course, spending time with Nonnie there helped a lot too.  🙂

mstony64

     Saturday, we had a memorial service for my mom.  It was very bittersweet.  She really wanted it to be a celebration of her life and not a sobfest.  I think she got her wish.  It was definitely the happiest memorial service/funeral I’ve ever been to.  After the service I came to several realizations.

    The first, well, and second realization had to do with my ex, Holli.  She came, which completely surprised me, but I had forgotten I put Mom’s obituary on facebook.  I saw her during the reception part of the service and, when I saw her and, how much she’s changed and, how much she’s grown up, I thought,”We were just kids!”  I had always thought of both of us as adults when we were together until that moment.  Also in that moment, I felt like I finally got the closure I needed from that relationship.  So…

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Grown Ass Tony

     Saturday, we had a memorial service for my mom.  It was very bittersweet.  She really wanted it to be a celebration of her life and not a sobfest.  I think she got her wish.  It was definitely the happiest memorial service/funeral I’ve ever been to.  After the service I came to several realizations.

    The first, well, and second realization had to do with my ex, Holli.  She came, which completely surprised me, but I had forgotten I put Mom’s obituary on facebook.  I saw her during the reception part of the service and, when I saw her and, how much she’s changed and, how much she’s grown up, I thought,”We were just kids!”  I had always thought of both of us as adults when we were together until that moment.  Also in that moment, I felt like I finally got the closure I needed from that relationship.  So, I was finally able to truly let her go.

     Nonnie has been telling me for a while now that I’m a grown ass man.  I know she’s right but, I’ve never felt like one.  Saturday, as I was talking to these people I haven’t seen since I was a kid, or even a baby about my Mom, for the first time I felt like and thought “I am a grown ass man.”  I think Mom would’ve been happy about my revelations.  All in all, it was a very good night.